I cannot run, it’s everywhere!
The smell engulfed me and drew me in.
From then on, I knew of nothing else.
I became an addict.
I knew not of need anymore,
My mind could not decipher for itself any longer.
Whenever I saw it, I took it!
I have no control anymore!
Less and less my actions become a blur,
Memories fade, reasons fail.
Something so basic took control of me!
I look in the mirror and don’t see myself,
I’m somewhere trapped inside.
I don’t know how to fight it,
I have denied, ignored and given up!
It is now a part of me!
Each day I wonder,
Wonder how my life could be different.
Ask questions of love that could have been.
Superficial seems just to me…
I have reasoned it to a basic science.
I have accepted my captivity,
Now I don’t know how to get out.
I have tuned out the voices of others,
Now all I hear is my silent voice.
How will I push?
Is it too late?
In my head I see the solutions but out here I remain in this bed.
This bed, my comfort, my own paradise in this little cage.
When I look forward, life goes slowly.
I look back and it has gone by quickly.
I have no idea what will be tomorrow,
But I know that in tomorrow lies another time when I’ll be tempted.