Guardian’s Twitter fiction is a series where top writers create a story with twitter’s 140 character limit. Now that’s a short short story! I decided to give it a go and this is what I came up with:
Iya mi tied her oja like a true Yoruba woman going into battle; if you know nothing about the Yoruba and their women, just know that there’s no storm that’s ever been brewed like that of a Yoruba woman’s. When the head-tie (oja) is taken off the head and used to hold the wrapper, it only means one thing… IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!!! Iya mi might not have gone to school, but this 60s grandma knew that she had rights and she would not allow anyone mess with her family.
It was the 60s in Ibadan, Nigeria. A time when the country was newly independent, and headmasters and teachers had their due respect. The flog was used to bring justice on those who ‘deserved’ to be disgraced. I can’t tell you anymore because I didn’t live it but I am told that the air was cooler and the prices made more sense. It is in this time that the Dada family lived. Somi and Bomi’s mother had gone to the United States to get her Master’s degree, while their father was working at First Bank and taking good care of the family. They went on picnics, took trips to museums, and played in parks. In a nutshell, whatever was fun, they did it! Iya mi, their paternal grandmother, helped take care of them and also spoiled them senseless. Life was smooth sailing for the sister duo, Somi and Bomi.
Somi was two years older than Bomi but the two were an inseparable pair. Somi always took care of Bomi making her eba and ewedu while Bomi was ever faithfully by her sister’s side whenever she was ill to ‘help’ Somi finish her food before the adults came back to check if Somi was eating. Somi also took care of Bomi at school. Although Bomi was very little, her mouth was the sharpest of them all. She never hesitated to use her venomous tongue on Jolomi, the tall lanky ‘Baba Suwe’ skinned boy in her class who she had cheekily nicknamed Baba Dudu because he was ‘as black as charcoal’. Jolomi hated when Bomi made fun of him and would try to beat her when she called him Baba Dudu. Bomi would run to Somi’s class for protection while yelling “Baba dudu ti n bo” (Baba Dudu is coming) and Somi would keep Bomi behind her and wait for Baba Dudu. When Baba Dudu got to Somi’s class, he would be disappointed that he couldn’t get his revenge and walk back to class with his tail behind his legs. This Tom and Jerry duo continued like this till Somi graduated from the school. Unfortunately for the Bomi, she was still stuck with her cheeky attitude and smart mouth. With no protection, Bomi tried to avoid Baba Dudu as much as she could; however, old habits die hard and soon enough, the tiny eight year old would soon have her last duel with Baba Dudu.
It was Thursday and the whole school was looking forward to the fast approaching and blissful weekend. Bomi’s joy was however disrupted by Baba Dudu who she had successfully avoided since school started 2 weeks ago. Before the morning assembly started, everyone usually went to class first to drop their bags. In the time it took to get to school, drop your bag and line up on assembly, you had to make sure that your uniform remained spotless, your socks was as white as snow, your shoes were glistening from being polished the night before and your hair, teeth and nails were clean and tidy. Amazing that even your teeth had to be ‘tidy’, isn’t it? It was like they knew where each tooth had been and if anyone was out of place, ‘o ma je egba ni yen’ or to put it lightly, ‘the flogs’ were coming to get you. While Bomi was putting her bag on her seat, Baba Dudu stepped on her shoes and socks leaving a nasty brown dirt stain on her white socks and a dusty imprint on her perfectly polished shoes. He pretended as if he didn’t know what he had done and went on his jolly old way while Bomi tried to salvage the damage. She used her hands as a wipe for her shoes and dusted off the stain on her socks. As much as she tried, the damage was done. The bell rang and Bomi braced herself for the impending punishment for uncleanliness.
“Cleanliness is next to what …?” the headmaster asked. To which he got an echoed reply from the teachers and students, “godliness”. At that point, all the teachers went through the lines and inspected each boy and girl to make sure they were spic and span. No excuses were tolerated and as Bomi expected, she was pulled out of the line. It was so humiliating! She walked to the front of the assembly and faced the school with the other dirty girls and boys while mentally preparing for her own share of strokes. “Five strokes of the cane each”, the headmaster announced. One by one, each boy and girl got their five strokes with the option of taking it in the butt or the palm. Bomi had strategically made sure that she was the last on the ‘dirty’ line so that the headmaster would have already dissipated most of his energy on the others before he got to her. “Where are you taking it?” the headmaster asked as if he was a doctor asking his patients where they would rather be injected. Bomi stretched out her left hand revealing her small palm; she wasn’t going to take it in the right because she knew that she would have to write notes in class. She also had to protect her bum because she was going to be sitting on her wooden chair during classes. In that moment, Bomi felt like a nervous patient waiting to feel the thin injection poke her skin followed by the rush of the medical fluids making their way into her veins. Kpa! Kpa! Kpa! Kpa! Kpa! , the sound echoed in the silence as each stroke came down on her palm. While enduring the pain of the cane, she could feel the eyes of everyone on the assembly judging her. The probably thought that she was the type of girl that didn’t wash her clothes before she wore them. She wasn’t! She wasn’t a dirty girl! Although she tried her hardest, the combination of the pain from the cane and the humiliation of being thought of as ‘dirty’ got to Bomi; The tears she tried hard to suppress, broke out of the mental dam she had built and started to fall. The fact that she was crying in front of the whole school added to the humiliation which made her cry even more.
The bell rung for break time; Bomi’s anger had been slowly brewing and she was determined to give Baba Dudu a piece of her mind. Immediately the teacher left the class for the staff room, Bomi walked up to Baba Dudu and demanded an apology. “Baba Dudu! You made my shoes and socks dirty this morning! You better say sorry. E wo ori e bi burnt pancake (look at your burnt pancake head)”. With that, Bomi stepped on his shoes and ran. Baba Dudu chased her around with his belt up in the air ready to lash the little pest that had insulted his complexion so many times. Bomi ran as fast as she could but her short legs could not save her from Baba Dudu’s leather belt. He caught up with her and with a swoosh from his boyish strength, his leather belt landed on Bomi’s arm and left its imprint there. Bomi stopped running and examined the swollen imprint on her arm. “Look at what you did!” she screamed; She stormed straight to the teacher with her throbbing arm, determined to get justice.
Immediately Bomi got back home, she ran straight to Iya mi to report what had happened, showing her the evidence of the injustice she had suffered. She made sure to exaggerate the pain that had subsided before she had gotten home. Luckily the swell was still big so her acting looked genuine. Iya mi removed her oja, tied it to her waist and exclaimed, ‘A ma de school e yen l’eni!’ (That school is going to feel our presence today!). Bomi followed behind Iya mi, who was determined to get justice from the highest authority in the school – the headmaster. Iya mi never went to school but she knew her rights. No one dared to mess with her and her grandkids, the world be damned if some bully would scar her baby and not be punished. She entrusted her little bird with the school and they had allowed this to happen; hell hath no fury like Iya mi’s oja.
“E wo nkan to shey si apa owo omo mi! Baba Dudu abi ki lo n pe! …Wo ti so n pe o ti ma n waja e te le. Egbon e lo ma n gba” (look at what they’ve done to my daughter’s arm! Baba Dudu or what’s he called! …They’ve told me that he’s been bugging her for a long time. Her sister was her savior). The headmaster told Iya mi that he would take care of the situation and apologized for the trouble. He assured her that Bomi would be safe.
The next morning, all the students strolled into the lines like they did every day. After the devotion was done, the headmaster announced that there would be no inspection today, instead everyone was instructed to stand at attention while Otunba, the school pianist played the school song. Everyone knew immediately that someone was about to be disgraced and flogged in front of the whole school. The headmaster was very theatrical and insisted on having music playing before he made any important public announcement. When the music finished playing, there was complete silence. You could hear the beating hearts of all the kids that had done something naughty the previous day, as well as their silent prayers to be good if they were not the ones that would be flogged today. “It pains me to hear that in this establishment where we teach you to respect and honor your neighbor, someone here has taken upon themselves to be an oppressor to his fellow student”. As the headmaster took a long pause, you could hear the sighs of relief of the naughty girls on the girls’ lines, as well as the increasing beating hearts of the naughty boys on the boys’ lines. “Jolomi Adekunmi! Step out at once!” Baba Dudu, who was at the back of the line because he was one of the taller boys, made a long walk to the front of the school with his head down.
As Baba Dudu stood facing the rest of the school, the headmaster continued. “If someone offends you, you report! Jolomi here took the law into his own hands and beat his classmate BLACK AND BLUE!” The older students rolled their eyes a little because they knew that the headmaster had a knack for exaggerating stories. “… Jolomi did this all because his classmate who is half his size, called him BABA DUDU”. A wave of laughter broke out among the students followed by a bunch of authoritative shushes from the teachers. After the silence was restored, the headmaster announced that Baba Dudu would be given twenty strokes of the cane by Mr. Makinde, the science teacher notorious for his painful lashings, while four senior boys carried him so that he would be lying flat in the air. The rest of the day would be filled with whispers and gossip about Baba Dudu and Bomi.
Bomi ran out of the car to hug her sister. Iya mi and she had packed up chocolates, biscuits, juice, and Jollof rice with dodo (fried plantains) and fried chicken for Somi’s visiting day at the boarding school. While they all sat at the table to catch up, Bomi told Somi how Baba Dudu had been disgraced on assembly and gloated that he never disturbed her again. Iya mi was happy to see her girls together, safe and happy.
Authors Note: I don’t have a lot of experience writing short stories, but I decided to give this a go. I would really appreciate some feedback. Please don’t just say you liked or hated it. Tell me what you liked and what you didn’t? Was the story easy to follow? What part confused you? etc. Thanks for reading and love the arts!
Hey readers! I have been itching to give you another interesting interview session and finally I have done it! If you missed the first issue, click here. In this session, I chatted with Saratu about the first part of her story titled “Guilty Pleasures”, a story that explores relationships, deception, cultural norms and society’s ills.
Saratu Danjuma is a 26 year old practicing lawyer and aspiring author from Lagos, Nigeria, her “lieu de naissance”. Before she moved back to the country, she lived in France and England; she speaks English and French (which she says is “quite rusty” at the moment). She is inspired by anyone who chases their dreams and finds a way to contribute to the progress of their community/country as well. If she had to pick someone, she would say the late Chinua Achebe, the Nigerian novelist, poet, critic and professor popularly known for his first novel, Things fall Apart. According to her, he revolutionized African Literature and his courage inspires her immeasurably. She once reviewed the famous novel while she wrote for the arts section of her University Newspaper, The Epigram.
I know you guys are already getting très excited! so I’ll just dive into the interview session!
Tell me about your life at France? Where did you stay? What were your favorite places to visit and your fondest memories?
I lived in France for a year whilst studying at Sorbonne University in Paris. My apartment was on rue de rivoli in the quatrieme (4th) arrondissement in an area called St Paul, very close to Le Marais. It was sublime! My fondest memories were weekend mornings wandering around Les Marais (lots of quirky vintage shops, cafes, art galleries, trendy bars etc. The area attracts a young cool crowd as well), I loved museum hopping (The Louvre, Musée D’Orsay etc are great but my favorite museum was just 5 mins from my apartment and called the Musée Européenne de la Photographie- they always had incredible photography exhibitions), The guys who lived next door to me (mes voisins) always had these incredible soirees where all their friends would come over and just drink wine and chat. Those were so much fun. They organized a little birthday dinner for me back then which was lovely. Ah good times! Spending Easter with a friend’s family in Tours, by the Loire Valley in Central France is another great memory. I even miss my evening jogs at Jardin Tuileries. I could go on and on!
It says in your profile that you tried wake boarding and didn’t have the best experience, what exactly happened?
Haha! That happened whilst I was at Uni. I joined the waterski and wakeboard club assuming that being able to swim would be enough. I didn’t anticipate how tricky it would be to stay balanced on the wakeboard whilst holding on tightly to the cable attached to the motorboat. The force of the boat’s speed was too much for my puny arms so I let go and was flung gracelessly into the icy water.
So the title of the story is “Guilty Pleasures”, why did you choose this title?
The title is “Guilty Leisure” and I chose it because of the intrigue in the story. There is a lot of merriment depicted beside some disquieting behavior.
What inspired this story?
It was inspired by my fascination with relationships involving deception and secrets.
Tell me about your writing process.
I almost never have every detail of my story planned out before commencing. I just need a strong idea and solid characters to start. I want to indulge in the wonder of discovery the way my readers will. This means that I do end up re-crafting my story halfway in, which is fine. I can’t stand writing on touch screen surfaces so would rather lug my laptop around than my iPad; I have to hear the keyboard clicking as I type. I’m also funny about the fonts I can write in.
What audience do you write for?
I write for everyone
Any outside research involved in the story?
Any research done was very minimal since there nothing really intricate or complicated in the storyline. It wasn’t at all intellectually demanding compared to some of my other stories. It was a fun story to write.
The story features scenes from different parts of the world eg Venice, London, NY and Paris, are the pieces of these locations influenced by personal travels?
In this story- not really. Being well traveled to a certain extent makes me want to exploit more settings, cultures and types of characters in my work but I write as much about places I haven’t visited as the places I have. Research is a powerful tool.
You have lived in two continents, how has that influence your world views and the way you write?
It’s definitely enlightened me and made me more open minded.
Why did you decide to do the story in parts?
I flirted with the idea of making it serial at first but wanted a break from those characters by the time the story was done so figured I’d just let it end at that point. However, when the first few people who read it asked me where the rest of it was and insisted I continue it, I knew I’d have to write a part 2 at least.
So there’s a little story in there that I found very intriguing- the story about Simi’s grandma and grandpa. From two different class backgrounds and yet they fall in love. A very romantic concept but some might say not very realistic, what is your opinion on the extent to which a simple story like yours should reflect reality?
I don’t think it is unrealistic, I personally know of real relationships like that. People of different social backgrounds, races, religions and political affiliations, fall in love all the time. That said, I write fiction and will inject as much realism as I feel is necessary. Even if you don’t believe it’s possible, I’d love for my readers indulge me and believe that in this instance it actually did occur.
Do you think in a class conscious society like ours, it is possible for two people from extremely different class backgrounds to fall in love like Simi’s grandparents? And if so or if not, why and on what grounds?
Love is inherently a dynamic emotional state or force. I think it’s absolutely possible. Usually when an individual can’t imagine personally falling in love with someone of a different social bracket it’s hard for them to imagine why others would do it, but it happens. Whether it will eventually affect their relationship further down the line is a completely different concern but it really does happen.
Children don’t know that kids can see and can be damaged by actions of their parents, would you say that Simi’s actions are partly due to her dad’s unfaithfulness?
I think kids get affected by what they see growing up, but as an adult you can always choose to make better choices than your parents did. It can be tricky though.
We’ve gotten this image about Tolu from Simi’s view, can you give me a scoop of who Tolu is in his own view? Are we going to get Tolu’s perspective in the second part?
You’ll have to read Part 2 for that! There’s definitely a lot more to him that you got to see in the first part of the story.
There are a lot of issues like how the rich and powerful are not brought to justice that are reflected in the story, was this intentional or consequential?
Yes, that was intentional right from the start.
As a lawyer, do you find this to be true?
Absolutely, it’s no secret that the Nigerian Criminal Justice System leaves much to be desired.
There you have it! You got all the details here on LitiTalk! Be sure to share the article and your thoughts on the story!
Read the first part of Guilty Pleasures here.
Make sure you keep up with Saratu on her twitter page here,
and don’t forget to love the arts, follow your dreams and read a book. Till next time, I’m Kofo Adebiyi.
Hello you cuties! Got my grandma cap on and my all seeing glasses and decided to check up on one of the writers I interviewed for LitiTalk (by the way, stay tuned for my new interview sessh!). I know Aisha personally and she told me that this story is based on true events (The Jos ethno-religious conflicts in 2001). First of all, I commend her for being brave enough to share her story. Second, I’m thankful that she survived and has not let such a terrible event define her. She’s a funny kid and you can tell by the way she chooses to write. Anyway, now that I’ve gotten sentimental, let’s rip this piece to shreds, shall we! 🙂
When I read the story, I fell in love with it. It’s a story that has the potential to become a great story. It’s real, told lightly and most of all, and doesn’t waste hundreds of pages on horribly written erotica (anti-fan of 50 shades, HOW did that book become a bestseller?!). So far she has written part one and two and they have been good.
I would have loved to see more detailed descriptions in there. What was the day like before the horrid event? Descriptions of her relationship with her best friend?… just details that will fill out the story and give me a better idea of the look and feel of what’s going on. That’s what this story needs to go from good to great. For anyone that’s skeptical of the use of humor in the story, I thought that it was a unique way of lightening the horrors of the story and for me that is the story’s gold.
Here are excerpts from Parts 1&2, read it yourself by clicking the quotes, share & give it a bunch of stars!
They trooped into my class, I was shaking, one animal placed an axe on my throat , he asked “kin iya hausa” (you understand hausa?) I couldn’t answer on time, I was too scared, he landed me a heavy slap that brought me straight back to reality, the slap was too good…I could feel the blood going to my head, I answered him as loud as I could. He gave me another hot slap, I fell “ki dinga mun hausa, Shegiya!” (Speak hausa to me, bastard). Lol lol omo the hausa just started flowing.
AGHHHHHH!! I was brought back to reality… I felt that sharp pain on my thigh, I fell to my knee, it hurt so much. I looked down at the knife in my thigh, I cried. “Kill me” I said, “shut up!” He replied. My blood was very red, I was scared, “dan iska” one of them said to me.
My brother was crying, he tried to help me up, BAM! I heard him fall, he had been hit too. They left…
I had never been so happy to see the Nigerian police in my life!!…. Okay seriously, they ran away. Police officers took over, the red cross… They were so many dead bodies… I felt worthless, nothing made sense at that moment. I was in so much pain, I cried throughout…I couldn’t even walk well.
My brother was busy cursing and biting his nails, worst day ever for him.
Hello! This is my first interview session for my new interview series, LitiTalk! Tell your friends and neighbours! I have started this as my own way of supporting the arts and meeting other amateur and possibly professional writers and artists. If there’s anything more exciting than a creative work, it’s meeting the people behind them. In my first interview, I sat down with amateur writers. Aisha Saludeen and Aniyeloye Adekunle after reading the first part of a story they collaborated on titled “Deceit”. While Kunle did the writing, Aisha was there to lend a creative ear. It’s a simple story told vividly in a way that makes it relatable.
Aisha Saludeen is 19 years old from Lagos, Nigeria. She is currently a student at the University of Bradford and plans to to to graduate school to study either Economics or Mass Communications. She loves reading novels, talking (which is probably why she is currently an intern at Top Radio 90.9, Ikeja, Lagos) and watching movies. One of the people that inspires her includes Folorunsho Alajika, a Lagos business tycoon involved in the oil, fashion and printing industries and was ranked 24th on Forbes list of Africa’s 40’s richest with an estimated net worth of $600M.
Aniyeloye Adekunle is also 19 years old from Lagos, Nigeria. He will be 20 in October (but still not old enough to drink in the United States). He graduated from Covenant University today (7/26/2013). Congratulations! His hobbies include writing, music and thinking (a David Hume perhaps!). He is inspired by Warren Buffet and Bishop David Oyedepo, his chancellor and according to Forbes, “Nigeria’s Wealthiest Preacher” with an estimated net worth of $150M. According to Kunle, the Bishop’s teachings have been a ‘blessing‘ to him.
N.B. This interview has been slightly edited for clarity and cohesiveness. K refers to Kunle and A refers to Aisha.
Me: What exactly would you say that your story is about?
K: Okay, lol. Well, it’s basically non-fiction; about a family… more like newlyweds. Years later, the husband ends up cheating. Got the wife wondering, confused, sad… but she sucked it all up and pretends that nothing happened. (the story) talks about lies, deceit, cheating and all the ills of “being in love”
Me: In the story, although Foluke (the wife) is more vocal, the reader gets to know more about what’s going on inside Daniel’s head. In essence, the reader gets a male perspective on cheating (at least in this part). Is there any reason for this?
K: Lol, no reason at all. I never expected it to turn out that way. I only did that writing in respect to the normal way cheating is portrayed. It wasn’t something I planned, more like a ‘freelance’.
Me: What do you mean by the normal way cheating is portrayed?
K: To everyone, ‘men’ are portrayed as “alpha males” when it comes to cheating…like men cheat the most and females are seen as the “everly faithful ones”…which is not so…
Me: Since we’re still waiting for the second part of the story, is there any chance that we’ll see a deviation from this conventional view of cheating as a type of “male dominated sport”?
K: Definitely… to me, not only males cheat, all men cheat.
Me: So what inspired you to write about cheating? And not just cheating but cheating specifically in a marriage?
K: Well, I would say that it is more of a personal thing. Most of what I write is based on experience. If you read my blog, you would see that most of the things I post are either about being hut, or lied to or something. I sometimes just go through y timeline of twitter and see so many stories around and I try to pick up something and write about it. The story is basically inspired by personal experience. It has nothing to do with cheating in marriage. I just woke up one morning and sent Aisha a message. I was like ‘let’s write something about lies, deceit and cheating’. And she was like “oh, no problem”. I had what I wanted to write about, so it was easy. I only twisted it a little.
Me: Wow. That’s great that you are able to take something personal and write a universal story.
K: Lol, thank you.
Me: Who do you relate better with in the story? Daniel or Foluke?
K: Lol, that is actually a personal question you know, but anyway it’s Foluke. I don’t want to go into details.
Me: Thanks for sharing that. So Aisha, you read the story and put it on your blog, which is actually how I read the story, what did you think about it.
A: yeah, Kunle’s really good and creative. I could understand and relate to what was going on in the lives of the couple.
Me: So did you think Foluke was right to forgive Daniel?
A: I think she was just trying to save her marriage, or she’s just so much in love with him.
Me: So what writers inspire you both?
A: Chimamanda Adiche inspires me a lot! She’s Nigerian and has gone far, her stories are captivating! Her novels make me want to be a professional writer.
(We share a little joke about the arts)
K: Mark Twain inspires me. My literature teacher made me love Mark Twain. I love the way he uses diction and figures of speech to create something amazing. Anyway, much of the credit goes to my Literature teacher. He made me realize my zeal for writing.
A: Mark Twain lomo (joke)
Me: Lol! So what other stories should we expect from both of you?
A: I’m working on a new story. I’ll upload it soon, so till then…
K: I’m also working on a write up too called “Faded Memories”.
Me: Any chance I can get the scoop on what the stories are about?
A: Lol, well, it’s about friendship and trust. That’s all I’m giving out. It should be put in two weeks.
K: A scoop on faded memories… err okay, it’s actually a random thought. It’s about letting go of memories that you consider happy memories because you’ve been betrayed by the person you shared those memories with.
Here is an excerpt from Deceit:
” You cheated on me? You were cheating on me! ” foluke’s voice rose into a shrill. Disbelief contorting her face.
Daniel was curled up into a ball lying on bed while Foluke towered over him. He felt lifeless shrinking inside himself after letting go of the secret that was poisoning his soul.
” And why did you have to tell me huh? So you can ease your conscience and dumped the misery on me! How can you be so selfish?” Tears cascading down her cheeks but on her expression was rage.
” You think I didn’t know. Do you think I did not felt it? Why tell me? Why not leave me with a benefit of doubt? I knew you never loved me but why be so vicious? Why confirm my fears? How are we going to live together now? You knew our families would never let us separate. Why did you have to destroy all my illusions? “
Foluke was sobbing now. Her anger spent. Daniel was not paying attention to any of her outbursts. He continued to retreat inside his shell.
Foluke sat on the foot of the bed. Grief racked her body. Both hands covering her face.
” I also know love. I also loved. Once. I was in love with someone before I married you.”She said softly now. Only pain echoed in her voice….Daniel surrendered to despair and resignation. The horizon seemed depressing but he knew he would be compelled to plod on as many others like him did.
There you have it! Check out the story “Deceit” here:
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